DavidFailkips Narzißmuszentrum

lost finale thoughts

So, spoiler alert, I hated the ending of Lost. Rather than write some pompous essay, I'm just dumping thoughts here as they come to me.

After Lost ended, I tweeted:

I just got trolled so fucking hard, didn't I?

And here's some shit I posted in /tv/'s ginormous sticky thread (green text is posts I was responding to):

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When is the 150,000 years later part?

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>so guys, worse then the BSG ending?

on the same level, except BSG was better because it had fucking Hendrix at the end.

the least they could've done was given us a full-length performance of "You All Everybody"

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>IF ISLAND IS REAL AND PURGATORY AND STUFF

>THEN WHO WAS DAVID

THERE IS NO DAVID

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TROLL'D HARD

as far as I'm concerned the end of season 4 was the end of Lost.

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SNOOP DOGG & MARILYN MANSON = BEST LOST ENDING
SNOOP DOGG & MARILYN MANSON = BEST LOST ENDING
SNOOP DOGG & MARILYN MANSON = BEST LOST ENDING
SNOOP DOGG & MARILYN MANSON = BEST LOST ENDING
SNOOP DOGG & MARILYN MANSON = BEST LOST ENDING
SNOOP DOGG & MARILYN MANSON = BEST LOST ENDING
SNOOP DOGG & MARILYN MANSON = BEST LOST ENDING
SNOOP DOGG & MARILYN MANSON = BEST LOST ENDING

dadadadadee it's the D-O-double-G

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Stephen King was absolutely right when in The Dark Tower, or maybe On Writing, or both, he said that he hates endings.

I wish they had done what Stephen King did with the Dark Tower and put a "WARNING: YOU MIGHT HATE THIS. YOU CAN TURN YOUR TV OFF NOW AND LOST ENDS HOWEVER YOU WANT, OR YOU CAN SEE THE ENDING WE WROTE. YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE." notice up before the actual end.

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what's all this "they were all dead and went to heaven" bullshit?

the end of Lost was when the Man in Black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed.

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But still, the Dark Tower ending was better. I'm retconning Lost in my mind to end that way. Smokey turns the wheel and teleports to Tunisia. Jack does the same, and chases after him, and all is right with the world.

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>The only part about the final episode that you could really complain about is the final 10 minutes.

yeah, it wasn't all that bad, but late in the episode I started getting this awful feeling knowing that it really was going to fag out at the end. I wanted the island sinking to somehow reset the timeline, and for everyone to remember the island but get a second chance at life or something like that.

THERE IS NO JULIET'S ROCKIN' TITTIES ;_;

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>no one will ever understand it.
>it's like trying to explain a David Lynch movie. Good luck, shitdicks.

it made perfect sense. too bad it was fucking stupid.

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>I'm still crying.

oh shut up you big pussy. you cry more than hurley.

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>how do you know she died?

because EVERYONE died. Jack's dad said that they all died at different times. no matter when they died, they all came together again because they were the most important people in each other's lives.

now excuse me while I go throw up from the sappiness. what a fucking hallmark card of an ending.

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I know they were trying to give out some satisfying, happy ending... but that's not actually what I wanted, and apparently a large portion of the audience didn't want it either.

Most of the show was mentally stimulating because there were all kinds of mysterious shenanigans going on for us all to puzzle over. After every episode you could feel the gears in your head turning while you tried to figure out what you just saw, and came up with new theories about what was going on. The finale was just a huge mental Blue Screen Of Death. Don't think, be happy.

Fuck that. I didn't want a neat little ending that tied everything up with no conflict and everything is okay for everyone forever. I wanted to be challenged. I wanted to be able to look back on it ten years down the road and think "man, I'm still not sure what happened at the end of Lost."

Right now I feel like Sawyer did when he did all that work with that machine in the cage, only to get a fish biscuit.

That was the end of Lost. A goddamn fish biscuit. That the polar bears only took two hours to figure out.

I MAD.

/tv/ music (TL;DR)

I was going to post this on /tv/, but it's probably tl;dr, and it's late Saturday night so no one is really around, so I figured I'd leave it in a more permanent location.

I'm interested in /tv/-related music.  Not soundtracks, but music by actors.  Or "waifus".  Or "reality" show people. Here's some of the music I have made/sung by /tv/-related people (and yes, my music collection is that gay that I have every Britney Spears and Hilary Duff album on CD. shut up.) and how I felt about it (this is TL;DR but I get to the point eventually):

Anthony Stewart Head: I've only heard him in Repo! The Genetic Opera, but I thought he gave the best vocal performance in the film. I liked the way he transitioned between the tortured widower to the psychotic Repo man in songs like "Night Surgeon" and "Legal Assassin", and how delightfully sadistic his singing was as the Repo Man in "Thankless Job" and "At The Opera Tonight" .  I suppose I should see that musical episode of Buffy.

Ashlee Simpson: Mostly enjoyed her first two albums (aside from "Shadow"), third sucked except for "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)".  Favorites include "Autobiography", "La La", "Love Me For Me", "Surrender", "Nothing New", "Coming Back For More", "Dancing Alone", "Burning Up", "I Am Me" and "Eyes Wide Open".

Ashley Tisdale: Mixed bag here. Liked the first album better than the second, haven't heard her High School Musical material. "Intro/So Much For You" is awesome.  Also liked "He Said She Said", "Be Good To Me", "Not Like That", "Don't Touch (The Zoom Song)", "Headstrong", "Heaven Is A Place On Earth", "Never Gonna Give You Up", and "It's Alright, It's Okay".

Avril Lavigne: First album was mostly good, second was meh, third was better but not as good as Let Go, and a lot of the songs were too similar.

Brooke Hogan: Only heard her second album, and it was pretty bad. "Handcuffed", "Ruff Me Up" and "Stripped" were the only memorable songs, and only because they would go great as background music in a porno.

Conan O'Brien: His lullaby segments were hilarious, and he actually sings quite well. And the "Free Bird" performance at the end of his time with NBC was awesome. I'd listen to a Conan album.

Dakota Fanning (and Kristen Stewart): Not quite fair to judge them on four cover songs, but "Cherry Bomb" was the best. "Dead End Justice" was pretty good too.

David Lynch: The Blue Bob album/project kicks ass. "9-1-1" is fantastic. So are "Bad Night", "Mountains Falling", and "Go Get Some". I also really like his collaborations with Angelo Badalamenti and Julee Cruise.

Heidi Montag: Her album is stupidly enjoyable. I'm not a fan of her non-album tracks (she made a mess of Lady GaGa's "Fashion", but "Look How I'm Doing" is insanely catchy. I like the boozy rhythms sneaking around in the background of "More Is More", along with the "IT'S FUCKING CHAOS IN HERE!!!" lyric, which should be out of place, but isn't. "One More Drink", "My Parade", "I'll Do It" and "Love It Or Leave It" are other album highlights.

Hilary Duff: Aside from Santa Claus Lane, Hilary Duff hasn't made a bad album. Even though she's put out almost as many "greatest hits" compilations as actual albums. Dignity is my favorite, but they all have their merits. A highlights list would be way too long, but "Come Clean", "Little Voice", "The Math", "Party Up", "Fly", "Do You Want Me?", "Supergirl", "Stranger", "Dignity", "With Love", "Never Stop", "No Work, All Play", "I Wish", "Play With Fire", and "Reach Out" (the version without the stupid guest rapper) would make up the top half of it.

Jim Carrey: Okay, so I've only heard him do "Somebody To Love" in Cable Guy and "I Am The Walrus". I want to hear more.

Katy Perry: Very underwhelming. "I Kissed A Girl" is her only song I really liked. "Hot N Cold" is okay too.

Ke$ha: Disappointing. I liked "Tik Tok", "Take It Off", and "Your Love Is My Drug".

Lady GaGa: All hail Our Lady of the GaGa. Favorite songs: all of them.

Lindsay Lohan: I like her more electronic, and definitely better once she had her own albums than when she was doing random songs on soundtracks. "First", "Nobody 'Til You", "Speak", "To Know Your Name", "Magnet", "Rumors", "I Want You To Want Me", "If You Were Me", "Fastlane", "Edge Of Seventeen", "Who Loves You", and "Bossy" are my favorites. Of the new, leaked songs, I prefer "Stuck".

Miley Cyrus: Meh. "Nobody's Perfect" and "Rock Star" were the only memorable Hannah Montana songs I've heard. When she's just being Miley, I like "See You Again", "East Northhumberland High", "G.N.O. (Girls' Night Out)", "Start All Over", "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", "Fly On The Wall" and "Kicking and Screaming" are the ones I like. "Party in the USA" is okay, and so is "Can't Be Tamed" even though the chorus sounds like a totally different autotune program than she usually uses (fuck "Rock Mafia" for being unable to produce a track without shutting up, though).

Natalie Portman: Obviously I've only heard "Natalie's Rap", but it was hilarious and awesome. MOAR!!!

Paris Hilton: While I liked the remixes better than the album versions, "Turn It Up", "I Want You", "Jealousy", and "Nothing In This World" are my favorites from her album.  Paul Oakenfold's remix of "Turn It Up" is pretty awesome, and Jason Nevins does a good job as usual with "Nothing In This World".  Plus, she was good in Repo!. Too bad "Strip" was never released. The demo sounds good.

Sacha Baron Cohen: As Ali G, his collaboration with Shaggy on "Me Julie" is awesome. Borat is not someone who I want to hear sing.  An entire of Ali G collaborations would get mad respeck.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Again, I need to see the musical Buffy episode. But "Teen Horniness Is Not A Crime", from Southland Tales, made me want an entire Krysta Now album.

Scarlett Johansson: "Summertime" good, the rest is meh. I wish she'd covered "Way Down In The Hole" for her Tom Waits covers album.

Anyway, with all of that in mind, who else should I look into? Are Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato any good? Any Nickelodeon/Disney Channel debutantes I'm missing?  Also, I tend to enjoy the fuzzy buzzy distorted synthesizers ("Fly On The Wall", most Lady GaGa, for example). Is Taylor Momsen's music any good? What about Leighton Meester?

Okay, this is way too long of a bloggy thing. Fuck. Publishing now.

making excuses

So, I have depression and anxiety, and have had it for my entire life.  This does not make me a special and unique snowflake, since millions of people do. Nor does it define me in terms of personality, beliefs or actions. I take an antidepressant so I don't do that shitty emo curled-up-in-a-ball-everything-hurts thing anymore.  I rock the benzos, or just drink, in order to not be having a constant panic attack.  I dabble in the talking cure, but that might not be the best idea because it helps me be more confident to be more of an asshole.

And I won't deny that: I am an asshole. I'm a total fucking prick.  This does not make me a special and unique snowflower, since millions of people are assholes.

I'm pretty open about it, because I think there's too much stigma attached to mental illness, and in the public perception, too much confusion between a neurosis (like the depression/anxiety bundle) and psychosis (like schizophrenia or being a Republican).  I don't constantly whine about it or write bad poetry, I just admit it.  It's like asthma or diabetes or whatever. It's not something I'm ashamed of, or something I feel like I need to be treated specially for. (And before a bunch of depressed people throw a hissy fit about how it IS a big deal: no, that's just the anxiety talking. I used to feel that way too.)

The other reason I'm pretty open about it is that while it isn't a huge issue like, say, autism or drug addiction or whatever, it does create a sort of "culture clash" between me and people who don't have the Depression/Anxiety combo meal. I believe that it makes communication more effective if the person I'm talking to understands that some of the nonverbal cues I'm giving off don't necessarily mean what they think they mean.  For example, if my anxiety levels are up, my eyes roam a lot, and I don't make much eye contact. That doesn't mean I'm lying, it means I'm not relaxed. I'm also prone to making grandiose, over-dramatic statements at times. I make mountains out of molehills.

Not all of the time, just some of the time. So when there's a situation going on that involves THE MOTHERFUCKING POLICE HOLY SHIT, for example, I'm going to put that forward right away, so any parties I'm dealing with understand that the cues they're looking for might be misleading.

I've been accused several times of using depression and anxiety as an "excuse" for my behavior. That's bullshit. I don't use it as an excuse or a sympathy card. All I'm doing when I tell somebody I have that particular neurosis is shining a light on my own mannerisms.  If someone wants to be willfully ignorant of that, it's their problem, not mine.  They can just decide I don't actually have it and am only pretending to in order to get drugs, if that will make them feel better. I don't give a fuck.  I've done my part - "hey, just so you know, I've got anxiety issues and depression, so you might not be reading me right. don't jump to any conclusions, okay?".  That's all it is.

Thank you, and good night. Now back to your regularly scheduled douchebaggery.

TL;DR but not as stupid

A flurry of tweets regarding this article: http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/02/22/chris.poole.4chan/index.html

This time, in an order that makes sense. And probably poorly formatted. Also the way I should've done it instead of LOL I'M ON THE INTERNET TWEET TWEET TWEET 140 CHARACTERS AT A TIME TWEET TWEET TWEET. And revised to be more coherent.

So, I basically agree with moot that Anonymous Internetings are a good thing, and that they are being threatened. "Social Networking" on one side, and these ridiculous "Cyber-bullying" laws on the other. And I thought CNN's headline was shitty. Because "Anonymous" isn't about pranks any more than it is about Scientology or whatever. It's not some super secret online hacker club that you join. Do you want to be Anonymous? Then don't sign your name to an Internet post. Or a letter, or tell someone who you are over the phone.

And Anonymous, or at the very least, Pseudononymous, is the smartest way to go on the internet.  I look at Facebook, Myspace, YouTube, and so on, where people post pictures of themselves, a wealth of information about their personal interests, where they live, THEIR REAL, FULL NAMES FOR FUCK'S SAKES!Has it not sunk in yet? That doing that is a bad idea? How many people have to get fired, suspended, or not hired because a company or school saw something they posted online? Whether it's a bunch of "lol i'm so drunk and not wearing a shirt" pictures or an angry rant or a simple opinion, people have suffered real-world consequences because they put their real name on something they posted on the Internet. Instead of taking two seconds to make up a pseudonym, or just leaving the name blank.

Or, look at all of these "cyberbullying" incidents, where it's not the victim's fault for A) putting a shit-ton of information about themsef on the Internet where anyone can read it, and B) putting emotional investment in shit people write on the Internet.  It's at the point where people want laws to restrict Free Speech, rather than take some responsibility for themselves. It's like suing McDonald's because your coffee was hot.  And these people act like somebody getting a bunch of pizzas sent to their house or empty boxes or free Korans or whatever is worse than getting fired.  Admittedly, if someone commits suicide, that's worse than a harmless prank.  But did the Internet pull the trigger or tie the noose around someone's neck?  (And besides, people commit suicide over getting fired all the time)This over-sensitivity and over-sharing is too stupid to continue.

Just please, for your own sake, knock that shit off, Internet.

Just a copy of an imitation...

It always cracks me the fuck up when someone bitches about how Lady GaGa or Marilyn Manson or whoever aren't doing anything that David Bowie or Queen or Ozzy or Alice Cooper did first.  Apparently nostalgia goggles make it impossible to realize that similar things could've been said about your beloved artists of decades past. I could write a book about David Bowie's influences, but I already have one or two on my bookshelves.

That doesn't make Bowie or (insert your favorite artist you think currently popular artist ripped off here) any less awesome. It just means they didn't invent this or that. Lady GaGa and Marilyn Manson got the lightning bolt symbol from David Bowie, who got it from Elvis, who got it from someone else. Bowie, Manson, and Ozzy Osbourne all borrowed from Aleister Crowley.

I'm not going anywhere with this other than that visual/lyrical references to the past are kind of like drawing Slayer and Metallica logos on your notebooks in high school, except that they're actually exceptional. "We're all a product of our influences," or some other lazy cliche. (Accent mark missing because my computer is mad fucked up and I don't have the Character Map anymore)

Back to your regularly scheduled Super Bowl. See you in twenty years when someone is criticizing somebody for ripping off Lady GaGa.

Wilkommen!

Willkommen in der David Failkips Narzißmus Zentrum. Hier finden Sie meine ungerechtfertigte eigener Wichtigkeit, sinnlos Geschwafel zu finden, und die allgemeine Unsinn. Genießen!